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Couples coaching aims to sustain and deepen the healthy rewarding relationships in your life, leaving you with a longer-term outcome rather than a fleeting moment of reconciliation or acknowledgement of right or wrongdoing from one side.
Our couples coaches aim to help both partners identify what will be the most fulfilling and connected way to continue their relationship, whether that means evolving it to a new level of understanding and behavior patterns, or in some cases finding through the transformative work, an amicable and peaceful way to separate for the benefit of themselves and their families.
We also provide couples maintenance coaching to ensure that effective communication dialogue tools continue to be a healthy and vital part of their partnerships. This maintenance during times when everything seems to be smooth is important so that there is less tendency to let things build again to a point of impasse.
The way we approach couples coaching is by taking a couple through a process to identify the dynamics each partner and they themselves bring into the relationship. There are often deep subconscious root causes behind the biggest challenges experienced in primary partnerships because they are the mirrors to what lies unresolved within ourselves. With guidance and learning tools, couples can then face challenges they had either tried to face without any results, or felt too overwhelmed to face on their own.
These challenges are called “sticking points” in a relationship. Sticking points can be anything from constant arguments over the same theme over and over, or arguments that have been brought on by a new traumatic event or changed desire of one or both partners.
Our couples coaching process is designed not to focus on the ‘sticking point’ itself and discuss this over and over again, but to use successful tools and techniques to help each person in the partnership shift their own thinking toward the dynamic through intentional exercises and reflections.
Both individual sessions and joint sessions are essential for couples work to be highly effective and sustaining. Without consistency and frequency of focus, it is not likely that couples can identify and resolve the highly ingrained patterns that they have built up within themselves and their partnerships over extended periods of time. Our specific methods, policies and protocols allow partners to explore their differences in a safe framework.Each partner is required to identify the core of the issue for themselves and discuss which component they are ready to address with their partner so that it is not overwhelming for anyone and begins to build a stable and sustainable foundation of effective communication.
There is nothing more valuable than having a primary partner mirror the issues that live unresolved within us. Our coaching will draw these unresolved issues to the surface and provide actionable steps and transformative work to identify and find release for them.
Here are more benefits our couples coaching process offers:
- guidance from a coach on how to address specific goals and evaluate these goals individually and jointly as you move forward
- coaching that allows couples to see that they have an opportunity to heal from one another or to further deepen unresolved wounds and how to avoid the latter.
- coaching that has the main goal of working toward an outcome that can be fulfilling to each partner involved and sustainable over the long-term
- getting to the root issue/s that both partners bring to the table so that “sticking points” become an opportunity for growth rather than a continued point of disconnection
- flexibility to have the sessions in the comfort of your own personal space
- online confidential journaling reflections that will allow you to reflect and ask questions outside the actual sessions
- private guidance on how to communicate issues with your partner without falling into the same argumentative pattern
- couples sessions that are guided by the coach to ensure they are productive and worthwhile
- actionable homework that provides consistency, practice and reflection
Unlike traditional couples therapy where you show up together and have a discussion with a therapist about the problems in your partnership in front of one another, we start out getting to know our clients at the individual level first in a private and confidential way so that we can make sure that we pick an area to start with that will be a stepping stone toward healthy and sustainable dialogue about issues.
Our approach allows the coach time and objectivity to assess whether or not the clients’ relationships goals are aligned or conflicting and help the individual gain a clear understanding of their partner’s reality and their own reality and how these perceptions play into their relationship dynamic.
Each individual's point of view is valid and critical to the process and as trust is built for their coach’s ability to perceive things from their perspective, they become more open to actionable steps and guidance. With individual buy-in and trust, a coach can provide a strategy on how to help a couple move forward to accomplish their goals in a deeply satisfying and sustainable way.
The amount of time required for our couples process depends on the willingness of the individuals, the frequency and consistency in which they work with their coach and carry out using the tools they are given, and the severity of the disconnect that they are looking to repair when they come in.