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  • Client Handbook
  • Introduction
    • What is Relationship Hero Coaching?
    • How It Works
      • Strategy Session Toolkit
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      • Boundaries For What We Can & Can't Coach
      • Relationship Coaching vs Couples Therapy
      • Combining Coaching with Therapy
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    • Core Issues
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        • Attachment Styles
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  • Skills & Lessons
  • Self-Awareness
    • Emotional Regulation
  • Compassion
  • Empathy
  • Acceptance
  • Forgiveness
  • Playing Strategically
  • Message Writing
    • Message Of Connection
    • Message Of Expression
    • Reengagement Message
  • Dating
    • The Dating Game
    • For Men Dating Women
    • For Women Dating Men
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    • Tech Troubleshooting Guide
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Forgiveness

Forgiveness is your gift to yourself; it’s one of the hardest but most potent acts of self love.

Radical forgiveness is not sensible, rational, logical or “right”. While forgiveness in itself can offer value, what it truly provides is an invitation to open the heart to acting completely and unconditionally, to loving without a selfish motivation. That’s why forgiving and letting go is the most powerful choice you can make for yourself.

We get stuck on forgiveness when we begin looking for logical reasons to forgive. We often say “I can’t forgive” or “I don’t know how to forgive” because we are looking for a good enough reason. Typically, there isn’t a “good” reason.

Forgiveness challenges us to be compassionate by offering kindness to someone who seemingly doesn’t deserve it. We may think, “Why should I be nice to the person who has hurt me?” This is the logical mind at work, and this logical mind isn’t going to forgive.

Compassion for the person who hurt you is a powerful way to overcome resentment. We know this can be difficult to do. When we tell ourselves that this is too difficult, we are actually saying: “I can’t forgive”.

Forgiveness is an act of the heart. It happens automatically when you relinquish the need and desire to punish another person. Forgiveness challenges you to reach a higher level of awareness.

When you can truly forgive the person who has hurt you, you no longer see yourself as a victim. Once you’re able to let go of the pain you’re holding onto, it no longer has power over you. While you feel like you’re still attached to your offender, what you’re actually still holding onto is the meaning you’re placing on ‘letting go’.

Forgiveness is the ultimate gift to yourself. It’s a gift that brings you back to the present moment. It will bring you joy, happiness, love, and connection. When you are stuck in your resentment, you create a barrier between that which you really desire; freedom to love, and be loved, and yourself.

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Last updated 5 years ago

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